Baby 2 · 日常

Baby 2

Yes, i really want to share this, baby two is on the way!!

I am so happy and excited about this. I can’t wait to meet her as soon as possible!

The soonest will be 2016!! 2016 seems so far away and distant, but it just became so different and meaningful when I knew that baby two will be dued in 2016.

Now, things have just happened in its very early stage and a lot of things could happen. For sure I hope everything goes safe and OK.

Though it is only at the beginning, baby two is so different from her elder brother. I was feeling so good until third trimester when I have elder brother. I remember i can go anywhere and do anything I like. I did not have heavy morning sickness or nausea or fainty feelings, i was energetic all the times at first and second trimester.

Bit with baby 2, I feel like i have a 5m old baby bum with me right now though it is indeed tiny as a bean. I want to throw up a few times a day and feeling faint all the times. I have already feel liked a heavy bag of water inside my tummy and I need to turn my body from time to time to avoid the feeling of being pressed at the tummy.

Last time I was all alone. I enjoyed my solo freedom sooooo much. But this time, i have to take care a 2.5 years old who needs me ALL THE TIME even I go to loo.

In fact, I want to enjoy my second pregnancy with the same space and freedom as last time. My 2.5 years old does drive me crazy and I have lost my patience yelling at him several times. That makes me feel so bad. He is my beloved boy, how can I yell at him liked that? I felt so guilty after yelling or being mean at him. But at the same time, the feeling of get rid of the “burden” and run away for some solo freedom gets so strong leaving me a hard times in constant struggle. For sure I will not leave my child but the feeling of wanting solo freedom and quiet moments is so strong.

I want to have some time for myself and also baby two. I want to talk to her and feel her inside my tummy. I want to feel her being alive. I want to have some quiet moments just for me and baby two. But I can hardly have this during the day. That makes me become grumpy and impatient to my older son. And I don’t like it.

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