Days in blue

別了, baby2

So long, farewell, my dear lovie.

Yesterday I went for my first prenatal checkup and also ultrasound for OSCARS. It is supposed to be 12 weeks old. When I lied down on the bed, the doctor screened for a second and then gave a quick look to her colleague with whispers. I knew something is wrong from their frowning face. But I didn’t know it was such serious.

The doctor told me b2 is just 8 weeks old and went for further checking for heartbeat. Then it was officially a signal to her that you have gone already.

I was in shock and did not know what to do, how to react with this sudden news. A few seconds later my tears running out of my eyes immediately. I was not able to accept the fact that you have gone and have already gone for a month. I was liked an idiot hoping that you would be a pretty girl or healthy one when you grow up while you have actually gone for a month. I feel so “left out” because you did not say a goodbye to me when leaving. I missed you, badly.

I knew, I knew you are gone for reasons. I totally understand that and would not blame you for anything. Because I love you, baby 2. Just liked your little big bro, I have loved you before  you are borne.

I wish you have a good fun in heaven and I am sure my Lord would take a very good care of you. He loves you too and will guide you.

No worries about me. Even though it is just 2 months of time and I know you would be mine. I love you and I am pleased with whatever you do.

Love you always.


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