日常

Spiritual journey

自從做左full time mom, 身邊啲朋友就愈黎愈少。

其實都係一件好事,本來朋友就唔多,以前大部分聯絡開一齊玩嘅都係同事。後來生活方式唔同左,人生階段唔同步,呢啲人都慢慢退出我嘅朋友圈。剩返有聯絡嘅,黎黎去去都係果幾個。

而今日就去左其中一個朋友家chit chat下。稱得上係我嘅好朋友,今日發現原來有兩類。而呢兩類亦代表左我嘅兩方面。

第一類:好實在。佢地生活喺好實際嘅世界入面,譬如係點樣喺個團隊入面做好自己角色?我要喺工作上有咩表現?我會想達到咩要求?我想拎到乜野?現實世界入面我要點行、選擇先得到我要嘅野?我有冇進步?⋯⋯呢個世界係集中喺目標、社會標準、個人能力等呢方面嘅東西。

第二類:非常重視心靈需要,我係邊個?我係咩人?而家感受係點?個energy係點?個人成長係點?我有冇成長?⋯⋯呢個世界非常重視心靈健康、情緒和感受,身心靈互相影響等等⋯⋯

我以為自己好矛盾,反問自己身邊朋友點解唔一致?係咪我未搵到自己?⋯⋯

原來佢地全部都係我。我其中一面是很實際的,我會計數,付出幾多先可以收返我要嘅野。但另一方面我亦追求宗教、或者係靈學可能帶畀我嘅解放經驗,或者係「悟」嘅moments or 帶領。

早排因偶然同朋友傾開少少傾向new age的東西,我對呢方面係好奇且有興趣,所以又重燃我的好奇心,忍唔住又周圍搵呢方的東西來看;但另一方面作為有宗教信仰的我或多或少感到矛盾,畢竟基督教認為new age是異端耶~~~

但anyway, this somehow served as a starting point, rekindle my fire of curiosity in spirituality.

以前我好鍾意同個朋友傾計,傾好多心需要。呢種對方只有同佢先發生到。因為佢好容易明白人心裏深切嘅需要,我識嘅朋友大部分都係睇到表面果浸:阿邊個好衰,阿邊個唔好⋯⋯佢會睇到另一啲平時冇諗到或睇唔到嘅角度。我一直好enjoy咁嘅conversations, fruitful and fulfilling. 

The first time I learnt about spirituality was from my master programme. Then I realised probably the conversation I have been always had with her is something spiritual. Furthermore, the programme made me recognised that spirituality is something good since its power in healing people.

Then I told myself I would like to learn more about spirituality.

Ok, back to the new age part, those incidents just made me wanted to know more about spirituality. The small voice is so loud yet I do not know where to begin.

Here comes today. After the conversation sharing with my friend, I finally acknowledge my needs of growth in spirituality.

I think that spirituality is something liked roots. It is where life begins. It touches your heart, it deals with something most inner self. It is an anchor point or reference point of asking what you believe in and values. It affects your lifestyle, the way of your decision making, whom you would like to make friends and even your job. Spirituality is something soooooo fundamental and you probably do not know it exist yet it does. It is something liked the air we breathe in but you do know you are breathing in.

And now it comes to a point that I want to find a bridge to connect both, the spirituality side and tangible life side.

It is a beginning of my spiritual journey.

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